Why women quit martial arts?  Avoid being one of them....

 

Support is huge - family, husband, kids need to support you in your training and grading otherwise it falls away.  TKD is not like going to the gym where you can miss a bit and pick it up, it is a commitment and has to be recognised as such.  As soon as you stop for a while it is hard to want/feel you can go back to it.

 

Keeping up with the men.  Women are physically different.  We also are more differently packaged!  And in the higher grades this become more noticeable and us women are far more aware of this.  Body image is huge for women. In the higher grades it can be ' do I look like a red/black belt’?  Can we kick, spar, power-break as well as the men?  And if we do not feel we can or fit the model in our heads, motivation dips and we disappear. 

 

Support each other.  Women unite and fight.  It helps hugely at club to have a partner to pair up with and work at a skill.  

 

Sometimes at club, women can feel a bit excluded as the men all gather round each other and do not look at ' us' as partners.  Need the men to include us.

 

But us women to need to front up.  Take a warm up.  Take a technique in class.  Not say no.  Push ourselves.  After all, we decided to take a marital art so we need to step up and embrace the challenges that goes with that.

 

Setting our own goals.  After being at a belt for a while, set a goal for next grading.  That helps the focus and having a one-on-one session with the instructor will help the insecure overcome insecurities that you may have.  

 

Highlighting those that have done well - locally, nationally internationally.  Role models are huge and we think, ‘if that woman can do it, so can I’  is a powerful psychological weapon.

 

But there is also an aspect of bloody mindedness that women need to have and we usually have it in bucket loads.  If we set our mind to do something, we can, so why don't we?  We are worthy, we can do it, we will have to work at it, but sometimes, it is ourselves that hinders us, not others.

 

My daughter and I are lucky in having a female as an instructor - a role model for TKD women.  She is very inclusive as are all the TKD instructors in the Bay.  Hope this is the same country wide and in other martial arts.

 

Mother and daughter or sisters, aunts is a good way to start. I would never have done TKD if it had not been for my daughter. And it has meant great mum/daughter time in and out of club, support at club and grading and a huge motivator.

 

TKD is mentally and physically challenging.  Awesome.  And women should not feel guilty about pursuing this art even though it takes time.  But I know we do (feel guilty) and that is hard, but don’t allow this to stop us. Bring on our determination to do something so good for us.

 

by Helen Almey – Mother, Teacher, Wife, Taekwon-Do Practitioner

 

Editor’s note:

TMAA have a strong presence of female instructors teaching Taekwon-Do, BJJ, Kung Fu, Yoga, and Fitness.  We have one women’s only kick boxing class where mum’s with children can bring their young kids in for free.  We have a girls only class at Tauranga Girls every Wednesday afternoon.  TMAA is a family and female friendly martial arts training centre.