Insecurities, we all have them.

One week out from a tournament, the no gi grappling nationals, and I’m obsessing about my weight.  The weight division I’ve entered is < 56.5kg, and for someone who does not usually weight myself, I have been weighing myself daily for the past week.  Most of the weigh ins have been over 56.5kg, around 56.9kg, but that is still not good enough. Also as a woman, you have to make allowances for weight fluctuations on the day depending on the time of the month. I’ve been procrastinating a calorie controlled diet as I normally have a voracious appetite and eat way more than the average small female.  I’m also prone to a see food mentality, in that I’ll eat anything that looks even remotely tasty.

My weight has not been the only thing I have been obsessing about. Naturally I have been anxious about the competition. Competition nerves even before I entered. And entering required much too-ing and fro-ing and thinking about whether I could come up with a good excuse not to. At the end I couldn’t justify to myself why not, so I’m entered.

I’ve been obsessing about not doing enough training and preparation.  My fitness regime is out the window due to an extra busy start to the year, and too many hours sitting on my butt doing endless paperwork.  I’ve been be-rating myself for not doing extra mat time, and only been able to train twice a week. 

As a seasoned competitor, (not in BJJ, in my first martial art of Taekwon-Do), I know full well that my preparation is substandard. To do well at tournaments you need a minimum six week lead in plan that includes fitness, skills progression and sparring time.  I’ve done none of that and I’m not even making weight, one week out.

I always say to my students, do not focus or think about the result.  Work on your game play.  Think about strategies for the fight. I need to seriously take some of my own advice so close to the tournament. 

Knowing many world champions (in TaeKwon-Do), I know that no matter how many tournaments have been fought, nor how experienced one is, the insecurities creep in every time. It seems to be an inevitable human condition.  Therefore it is not surprising that out of those who state that their dream is to win tournaments many can not even summon up the courage to enter one.

This is where the courage or the spirit of learning a martial art needs to kick it.  We need to summon that courage and enter.  Then not excuse ourselves to drop out.  So often it is easier not to try than to try and risk failure. 

I also say to my students, that I was not very good as a beginner student in Taekwon-Do and did not win any tournaments for at least three years of trying.  Our greatest glory though is not in never failing but in rising again if we fail. Should we succeed then, all good!

So get off your butts everyone and enter a tournament. It is so good for you.  Just do it.

80% of success is turning up.

Christine Young-Jasberg former World Champion - ITF Taekwon-Do